Crack is wack
by XxHinata-LoverxX
Summary: WARNING: EXTREME CRACK! well in this fic here naruto asks his teammates a very peculier question.....you want to know what it is? then read the story! Crackfic -mitsu


**A/N: ello good people of Yes I do realize brit and I haven't updated in like forever until today, but that's cuz of the dreaded thing called…..WRITER'S BLOCK. Yea I know lame excuse but its true! So yea my story "We're Heeeeere" will be on hiatus until further notice. So now onto the crack that spawned at lunch one day!**

One bright day in the land of Konoha, 3 genin were waiting for there ever-so-late sensei. Yes you guessed it, the team is indeed Team 7. Naruto had just arrived at the bridge, for once silent. Sasuke and Sakura gave him looks that said "WTF!" Well you could tell that about Sakura's face because only the fact that Sasuke's eyes had widened a millimeter could tell you he was shocked. So anyways, Naruto turned to the confused genin and opened his mouth.

'_I really hope hes not going to say anything stupid. If he does I'll have to clobber him'_

'_..Hn..' _**(a/n: he even grunts in his thoughts O.o)**

"Hey can I have your opinion on something?" Naruto asked. Both Sasuke and Sakura nodded.

"Who do you think would rape who? Batman Robin or Robin Batman?"

Sasuke and Sakura fell over. '_WTF!'_ thought Sakura, ' _What the hell kind of question is THAT?'_

"Hn. Batman would rape Robin dobe," answered Sasuke.

"Nu-uh! I think Robin would rape Batman," countered Naruto. 

"I'm gonna have to agree with Sasuke, Naruto. It's physically IMPOSSIBLE for Robin to rape Batman," said Sakura. Naruto replied with another "nu-uh!" while Sasuke and Sakura were saying otherwise. They kept that up for a good hour before, DU-DU-DA-DA! Kakashi appeared. 

"Yo," greeted Kakashi. Unfortunately Team 7 was still bickering over whether Robin would rape Batman or Batman would rape Robin. 

"Helloooo," Kakashi tried to gain their attention again. Unfortunately they ignored him still.

"HEY PAY ATTENION!" Well that got their attention. Everyone was suddenly quiet. Curious as to what they were fighting about, Kakashi asked them, "Now why are you guys fighting today?" **(yea they argue a lot)** Naruto took that as a chance to get Kakashi on his side.

"Ne, Kakashi-sensei, who do you think would rape who, Batman Robin or Robin Batman?" Kakashi pondered on this for a bit.

"Well I'm going to have to say Robin Batman," Kakashi replied. Sakura gaped. Sasuke just slapped his hand to his face. Was their sensei really this stupid? 

"But, but how is a scrawny 15 year old boy supposed to rape a 32 year old muscle builder!" cried out Sakura. Her teammates have her a look. 

"What?" she innocently asked.

"Where did you get the number 32 from?" asked Naruto. She shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know, it just seemed like a good age to describe Batman." They still just gave her weird looks. And Kakashi still thought Robin could rape Batman. 

"Neh, I got an idea! Lets go around the village and see who can get the most agreements for their favored pairing thing!" exclaimed Naruto jumping up and down.

'_Yes this is my chance to get them out of my hair for the day!'_ thought Kakashi as he agreed with the idea. He told the three of them to do as Naruto said and not to come back until the sun had set. The three set off with eager expressions on their faces (cept for Sasuke, he just looked bored) waiting to show the other up. Lets see how much trouble they will get into _this_ time.

--------------------------- a couple hours later--------------------------

"Batman would rape Robin DUH!" ' _**YES! Another one for us! CHA!'**_ As you can probably tell that was Sakura's inner. The three of them had been at this for a good 4 hours and Sakura was doing quite well. 50 agreements and counting. Of course she ran into the occasional dumb ass who thought Robin could rape Batman, but with her wit, charm, beauty…**ok we are getting off topic..** she managed to persuade them to her side. Actually she used reason _then _threatened to beat the shit out of them if they still didn't agree. Wonderful plan is it not? Well lets see how Sasuke is doing.

Sasuke was also doing exceptionally well. He had 78 agreements (but most of them were from his fan girls so of course they agree with anything he says). He, like Sakura, also ran into a few idiots…..wait never mind he just ran into Naruto a bunch of times. Still he was doing very well and hadn't had to use his sharingan (if that's how you spell it) on anyone so that they would agree with him. **author backs away slowly for fear of Sasuke's sharingan……and not because of its deadly-ness **Yes things were going VERY well.

Naruto on the other hand, well he wasn't doing to well. 

"Aw come on, why wont you agree with me?" See what I mean? Unfortunately for Naruto, he only had 10 agreements, because most of the people he came in contact with were either afraid of him, thought he was stupid, or had already come in contact with Sakura and had their minds changed. Yes things weren't going to well for our orange clad ninja.

--------------------------- more hours later, near sunset-----------------------

The three genin raced to find more people as the sun was slowly setting. People were getting harder and harder to find since night was coming, and winter was nearing. 

"Huff huff, WAIT! Can you please just give me your opinion on something!" (Sakura)

"NO! Don't run!" (Naruto)

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAKS!"(Sasuke) Well Sasuke's fan girls seem to have found him. Again. Then…………………the sun set. 

"DAMN!" all three of the genin exclaimed, at the same time I might add. They all made there way back to the bridge and saw Kakashi waiting for them. Weird.. He was never early. Truth be told Kakashi was curious as to what his students had found in their quest. 

"So how many votes did you guys get?" asked Kakashi. They counted up the votes. Naruto: 30. 

"Wow that's more than I expected," said Sakura. Naruto pouted. 

"Yea well it wasn't easy!" whined Naruto. Then they got back to counting the votes Sasuke and Sakura got. Sasuke and Sakura: 194 

"WOOO! We won yay!" screamed Sakura, who glomped Sasuke because of their victory. Sasuke smirked then twitched a bit at the sudden attack from Sakura. 

"Since Sasuke and Sakura won, Naruto, you have to buy us dinner, or the winner's choice of course," announced Kakashi. Sakura cheered, Sasuke smirked and Naruto groaned. Well nothing left to do now except go eat dinner.

------------------------- later-----------------

After a nice, not to mention expensive, dinner, the genin and Kakashi parted ways. On the way home, they passed an ally way. In the ally way they hear….moaning. Wanting to know what was going on, they peeked into the ally way…………..What they saw would forever be burned into there minds. With disturbed faces they ran home, knowing they would NEVER be able to sleep again. Even though he had just witnessed a highly disturbing, possibly even TRAUMATIZING, scene, Naruto couldn't help but grin on his run back home.

' _Ah, sweet victory!'_

**A/N: Good neh? Yea its VERY crack-ish and yes some of it made no sense but then again you weren't there when my friends and I had that convo. Yes I did actually say what Sakura said at the beginning. Yes I kno im psycho. No I have not had crack. Once again my story "We're Heeeeere" is on hold till further notice. Please review! Also if you have any questions let me kno in a review or pm me and brit. Later! -Mitsu**


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